Most nights, i will take a smoke in the solitude of my room, and look across the opposite block. And every time, i will see a middle age lady with her waistpouch clutched tightly round her rotund shape, walking out of the block with a plastic bag. A litter of stray cats will gather round she and her pink plastic, meowing in unison for the leftover goodies.
And every night, i will look out into the dark sky, see the fluffy clouds passing quickly, their forms changing as quickly as the mood of the wind, having no control over their location in the skies. And every night, i will look up into the sky, and think of dad.
My dreams includes being a bird, to fly wherever my wings will take me. To travel high up in the blue sky, touching the clouds, soaring high into the heavens. I wonder who up there is peering into my silent thoughts.
Somewhere in the world, i know that there will be someone looking in the sky like i am. And i hope his thoughts are happier than mine.
Next week will be a year. And he is still dearly missed.
Missy T Said:
on January 11, 2007 at 4:48 pm
One day, you would be looking in the sky and your thoughts would be happier than it is now.
muack.
D W Said:
on January 12, 2007 at 12:45 am
If you have never felt sadness in your life, then you won’t know what happiness is.
Puppetress Said:
on January 12, 2007 at 10:36 am
DW: so why do most people only feel sadness?
gecko Said:
on January 12, 2007 at 11:02 am
Because they do not see the happiness that is already before their eyes.
Puppetress Said:
on January 12, 2007 at 11:06 am
gecko: i see happiness. and as quickly as they come, as quickly as they go. it’;s elusive, but yet we always run after it.
i’m sure everyone will be happy ultimately. one day
gecko Said:
on January 13, 2007 at 12:56 am
we never stop chasing after happiness. if we did, that’s be the end of hope as we know it. life is such that we’ll know how sweet joy can be through knowing sorrow.
Ron Said:
on January 16, 2007 at 9:07 am
I think there are nights where you just feel this way. Out of touch, sad, and thinking about the good times, the times you could have spent with him more etc. I understand how you’re feeling and I’m sure if it was me, I would feel exactly the same way too. That makes me think whether should I come back… sigh…
In his memory, one thing i would endeavor to do is to live my life happily and make him proud. I’m sure he won’t want to see you sad. I remember a saying (could be a buddhist saying) before about people passing away. Those mourning for the passing try not to cry and feel sad as it will make the other person sad to leave. It is always good to leave happily knowing that they’re missed instead of a tearful parting. Something like that.
Anyway wish you well for 2007! ganbatte!!!
snippets of memories « dangling like the puppetress Said:
on August 13, 2007 at 12:27 pm
[...] been many months since i last saw the rotund cat feeder. She seems to have lost some weight, as the wasitpouch which used to sit overly snugly round her [...]