dangling like the puppetress

It was a roller-coaster ride of a lifetime, as we battled with life and death, sorrow and hope. The sun has shined so far, after the misfortunes and pain. Let’s hope the coming days will be better.

This past days has made me more aware of the situation around me. On a sidetrack, I’m slightly turned off by how much; culture differences mould a person’s personality. Asians have a tendency to be more subdued, critical and afraid of the unknown. I’m touched by the support my foreign counterparts have showed so far, emphasizing on the importance of family ties. But that doesn’t mean the French colony has won me over.

I learnt many things about the Chinese culture these dew days. There’s one myth which interest me the most. Mum said that when someone is dying, you’ll see their hands and legs doing a slight climbing motion, which signify their climbing uphill to the heavens. And their breathing will be drawn and hushed, as the uphill climb is a tedious task. Never hold their hands and legs, as this will hinder their climb and prevent them from leaving. You must let go and let them do what they are doing. If they are dying, do not call their name or cry infront of them. They will turn back and the afterlife will be a more horrifying life.

There was this old lady who died peacefully in her sleep. While climbing the hill, she heard her sons calling to her. Turning back, she came back to life. What happened was a aftermath of suffering and illness, with her ending up at the old folk’s home as her sons would no longer take care of her.

Dad was doing a climbing motion with his legs after the second operation. I held his hands tightly as he was in pain. Mum reminded me not to. His eyes… full of pain and sorrow.. our hearts, full of tears and heartache.

Therefore, we must not cry too.

I remember when I was a 卡拉飞 with TCS many years ago around the age of 16-17.

During one of the filming for the first ever long drama series starring 李南星 and 李锦媚 (pardon the wrong characters used, if any), I met this tall dark man during our 3 day filming. He was always with this group of noisy Ah Bengs who treats the studio like their usual coffeeshop haunt, talking loudly and acting lousily. Funnily, the tall dark man (let’s call him 黑人) took a liking to me and the awful wardrobe clothes TCS always handed out. His friend played a joke on him and wrote a love letter to me and left it on my ‘acting’ desk. I was extremely turned off by the whole thing as I wasn’t into Bengs at that moment.

Somehow or rather, along the 3 days, we got to know each other better and I actually began liking chatting with him. He was always stealing glances at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. Many a time, he’ll gaze at me above the book he was reading (which never seems to be read beyond page 3) and I’ll shoo him back to his book when I saw it. I was extremely flattered that someone not too bad looking would actually take a liking to then plump, cheena me.

By the third day of court filming, we started wrapping up the court scene and he told me that he’s quitting卡拉飞-ing with TCS. I wasn’t bothered by that and shrugged it off. We left things at that junction. Days later while filming other movies, I started missing him and this missing lasted from days to months, whereby I took more卡拉飞 jobs, hoping to catch a glimpse at him, and to tell him how I felt towards him. Alas, fate played a terrible prank on me. I resorted to looking at Obituary pages (awful me) to see if anything bad has actually happened to him, since I couldn’t find him. None of the Bengs in his group knew his whereabouts as they only knew each other during filming.

I have forgotten about him till this morning, when rushing with the peak hour passengers, I was reminded of his existence. I wondered fleetingly about what he’s doing now. Has he relegated to being a true-bred Beng, or is he now a high flier?

Therefore, this blog dedicated to him. The 黑人 I tried looking for years back.

p.s. author is happily attached (need to say this or no more sex from Kinky Nomad). But would like to see how this 黑人 has changed over the years.

My body is screaming in protest after a vigorous yoga combat yesternight. And to reward it, I’m going for another combat lesson tonight. Prepare for battle, you lazy muscles! Get toned! Get slim!

When I left for work yesterday, I said my usual bye byes to the security guard at the entrance. He must have taken a liking to this lone girl who’s always ready with her smiles. He started telling me about some remedy for my breakouts while I was stunned momentarily by his sudden conversation. Within a few seconds, I regained my composure and told him calmly that he shouldn’t talk about a lady’s complexion to them as it’s the most sensitive thing. He kept apologizing to me. Of course I just smiled and said it’s ok, breezily. Right thereafter, I smsed Kinky Nomad about my misery. Argh! People seems to think it’s my fault when my complexion goes bad.

On a positive effect, he has decided to bring me to a renowned face doctor for my breakout. Guess he must be pissed about people asking about my breakout. The only one profiting from this is of course – M E.

I badly need a hair change and colour. And I’m craving for prawn noodles. Yum yum,

Oh yeah hungrybunny, Viet dinner this Sat? Our treat. *grins*